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Six Book Eye-Rollers (& Sometimes Deal-breakers)

10/20/2018

6 Comments

 
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​Most readers I know have at least a short list of what an author can do that will result in a book being thrown across the room with cries of "NOT AGAIN!" reverberating throughout the house (or coffeeshop, or workplace - wherever one can sneak in a few pages.)  
Granted, I can be tempted to chuck a book when a favorite character dies, or a wrong choice is made - but those aren't the eye-rollers.  Here is my list of what can just stop NOW!

1.  Stupid Titles:  The <occupation’s> <relationship> and anything with GIRL in the title.  Get away from me, gimmicky publishers.  This <Retired Computer Programmer>’s <Daughter> is the Girl Who Won’t Be Having It.  (THIS is a deal-breaker for me at this point.)
2.  When someone asks a character a question and they respond, “Yes.  No.  I don’t know!”  Can we think of a new way to show conflicted emotions please?
3.  Someone padding into a room.  (Have you ever actually heard someone say this in real life?  I did, once - my Granny described padding into her parents' bedroom when she was little.  I had trouble looking at her for the rest of the visit.
4.  Every single male character in a book turning out to be an awful human being.  Men don't have a monopoly on evil and women don't have a monopoly on....being a decent person.
5.  Overuse of a word.  The book I'm currently reading is AMAZING, but the word "furtive" finds its way into every chapter.  A Thesaurus!  Find it, use it, love it.
5.  Cheesy character nicknames that don't ring true.  This is often found in YA novels when the male love interest wants to give the female love interest a sweet nickname that can be referenced again and again in intimate moments, tear-jerking good-bye letters, angsty fights, or on a gravestone.  I’m looking at you, John Green.  Green eyes.  Johnny Green.  John Boy.

This concludes my first listicle!  I feel like BuzzFeed will be ringing me up any minute to hire me to write about which continent has. the. cheesiest. pizza. EVER!
Tell me what dumb author habits are on your list!!
6 Comments
Ramona
10/20/2018 03:55:18 pm

My cheesiest eye roller is the trend of using a man's torso on the cover. Not a handsome man, not a well dressed man, just a torso. A bare six pack torso. No head. No personality. If this were of a woman's torso, there would be a march on the bookstore by feminists wearing pink hats angry at objectifying a woman. My main thought is there can't be much of a story involved if the most interesting thing you can think of to sell the book is a torso.

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Kimberly Scheirer
10/20/2018 05:41:11 pm

Yeah that probably wouldn't sell me on the book!

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Vicky
10/21/2018 06:44:12 pm

These are all true!

I hate cutesy or over repeated words for anatomy during romantic scenes.

I also dislike authors who try to jump on the bandwagon of one trend or another but do not know how to write in that type of trend.

Editing mistakes make me crazy. However, I wrote an author I follow this last week because her recent book was so riddled with errors. She wrote me back immediately with the information that Amazon had uploaded the wrong document, so the readers got a draft instead of the final version. She is now playing catch up with all of the readers and reviewers. That was just a mistake, so I understand.

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Kimberly Scheirer
10/22/2018 06:49:19 am

Let's talk about examples of those trends this weekend!

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Shaniqua Johnson
10/22/2018 03:50:46 pm

Cliches and trends put me off as well which is why I try to stick to the "4 stars and above" rule for Goodreads. It's a guide. ((( I so want to be blown away like I was with House of Leaves!!!!)). This method (would you call it a method?) isn't fool proof; I've read 4 Star + books (non-classics) that I didn't see what was so unique and clever that warranted the high rating.

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Kimberly Scheirer
10/22/2018 06:24:50 pm

We're like a Venn diagram and when 4+ stars and book written in the last year intersect, it's a perfect book that both Levi AND Kimberly will read!

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    Mom of four, wife of one.  By day I fund-raise with coffee, by night I read with wine and chocolate.  

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